The Overcomer’s Hall of Fame: Khas Dock

“Trusting God will have you out here winning in a losing season.”
Khas Dock

Khas Dock is originally from Newark, NJ and has been in Atlanta for about six years. Although he always wanted to move to Atlanta, he didn’t want to move as soon as he did. However, on a whim, he made the move. Khas says his career is a God thing. He is an author, ghost writer, and business consultant. And though he didn’t mention it, he is also a speaker. Khas says, “I do operations and project management. I’ve planned tours and hosted events, organized conferences, done a lot of consultations from a branding and marketing perspective. These are the things I dabble in as it relates to my purpose and career, passions and all those good things.”

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“I am what I am, by the grace of God.”

I am excited about what you will learn from this interview. I was not prepared for Khas’s story and the level of healing and confidence he displayed during this interview. Sometimes chuckling at his answers, sometimes taking a few seconds to pause and think, Khas spoke to me as a man who, despite what he’s been through, knows who he is. As I reflect on this interview, I can think of one word: refreshing.

Ladies and Gentlemen, meet Khas Dock:

Me: Tell me about Khas, the man.

Khas: At my core, I am a lover of people. I often refer to myself as a grace agent. The concept behind that is I think a lot of people deal with silent battles and they are wrestling with something internally they don’t ever really speak about. I remember often walking around wishing somebody saw me, that somebody understood. Wishing somebody would say something that would make my world a little bit better. As a result, I’ve taken on the position to be intentional about extending love and making sure when someone is in my presence they feel a glimpse of God; a glimpse of grace.

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pose, then!

I am a people person; I am super down to earth. One of my biggest passions in life is to serve and to serve people. At the core of who I am is a servant. I’m a normal guy (I can hear the smile in his voice). I enjoy music, food and I’m adventurous. At almost thirty years old I am coming into myself more than I have at any point in my life. I see things a lot differently. Life is much different to me now. On this journey of self-discovery, I’ve done a lot of inner healing and learning who I am. I am owning it, and am okay with whatever that looks like.

Khas, the Overcomer:

It embodies strength and tenacity. When I think of overcomer, I think of a person who thrives through obstacles. (Wait! Did y’all see this? Thrives! Not just survive, but thrives! Okay, carry on.)

At the age of six years old I was placed in foster care where I remained until I aged out at twenty-one or twenty-two. This has been my biggest hurdle in my twenty-nine years.

Being placed in foster care introduced me to a pain I didn’t have language for or any concept of. At six years old, the only thing that causes pain are minor things like not being able to play a game or go out with your friends. This experience complicated life in a way I didn’t know was humanly possible. It introduced me to identity issues, feelings of abandonment and rejection. I wondered why my parents didn’t want me; why isn’t anyone coming for me? I had emotional trauma I didn’t understand until my teen years and early adulthood.

My life over the past couple of years has been dedicated to sorting through a lot of those layers. Recalling myself at six years old, not understanding, and not having language for what was going on, I had to deal with it. I didn’t get a say in the matter. So, I had to deal with. I had to adjust and learn to be okay with it – which I don’t think I’ve ever become okay with it. It was hard. For a long time, it made me angry.

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Confidence

I realize no one’s life is perfect, but it introduced me to a plight I wasn’t prepared for. As an adult, I can see that, for many different reasons it was necessary. While I was in the thick of it, I couldn’t see it. All I felt was pain, and it was terrible. On the other side of it I can look back and say, I kind of get why it had to go that way.

There’s a sense of ownership for that struggle. I can talk about it proudly and own it because I can see the beauty in it. I couldn’t see it then, because I was so blinded by the hurt and the trauma. I can proudly say I’m glad it happened. Wouldn’t want to live through it again, but I’m glad it happened and I was able to overcome it.

I have friends and people I grew up with who went through the same thing and their life turned out much differently. In all of it, there was a grace that sustained me. For that, I am grateful.

Community and Conversation (sound familiar?)

Khas attributes his success to God first and foremost. He says conversation and community has played a vital role in his process.

Khas: I remember times, especially once I was older, as I transitioned out of my adolescence into my adulthood, I was around people who had their own experiences. There was a commonality. Even though our plights weren’t the same, we had all experienced some type of hardship or trauma. We were able to gather around that commonality and offer strength through conversation. We were able to share with each other and say what we went through, how it made us feel, and how we overcame it.

Although none of our stories were identical, the similarity was that we all struggled and we had different things we had to overcome and journey through. I found out there is a great deal of healing offered through community and being around people who know what it’s like to go through something, you’re given the opportunity to sort through things that have been left underneath the surface for years. Once you begin to bring those things to the surface, you can now deal with it.

Community and conversation won’t heal everything, but it’s a great starting point. It can point you to counseling. It can point you to church. It can point you to wise counsel. Community will also be there for those processes, because once you start counseling you will still need a support group. You will still need somebody who can rally around you. You will still need people that understand. The biggest thing for me has been to find safe spaces which is sometimes found in a group and other times with one person who understands.

While community and conversations have helped me, it’s also been a hindrance because it hasn’t always been something I was open to because I felt like I had my vulnerability snatched from me years ago without me having any say so in the matter. It’s amazing that community and conversation is the thing I would depend on in order to journey through certain experiences.

Me: Tell me about Decoding the Creatives? What do you want people to know after reading it?

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Khas says: Trust your dopeness!

Khas: Decoding the Creatives is a book that gives language to people who are creative and for people who want to understand creatives. It’s a term that is widely used and sometimes misused. It is not a lot of definition surrounding it, so this is my attempt to explain it. One day I randomly wrote a Facebook status that was a combination of experiences in my journey as a professional creative and I wanted to put it out there. It got a lot of crazy traction. It seemed simple to me because I was venting. I didn’t realize at the time other people were looking for this type of language. People who are creatives as well as people who are surrounded by creatives. The consensus among them was it helped them to understand the creatives around them whether it be a friend or a child.

This is a book based on my experiences. At the end there is a letter from me to the reader and the message is to trust your dopeness. It’s my way of encouraging people to understand we are all different, even our creative abilities are different. There is something that unlocks when you hone into the uniqueness of who you are.

One of the things I’ve noticed about creatives is even though we’re widely gifted and can do so much, there’s nothing a creative cannot do when we put their mind to it. However, even in our awesomeness, there is this doubt. There is this fear; there is this shrinking back or dumbing ourselves down to magnify others. We will promote others before we promote ourselves. The root of it is this idea that we’re good but not amazing. It’s this tainted concept of how awesome we are. It’s something I’ve had to own myself and I figured it’s something, that if it’s a battle for me, it’s a battle for other people. That is my biggest desire for people to walk away with the knowledge as a creative or understanding one.

I want creatives to get to a place where they can say, “I am really gifted. I own this and I’m going to walk in it.” Khas Dock

Me: I thought you were quiet, but lately, I have seen another side of you. You’re more vocal. Tell me about that?

Khas: For the last two years I feel like I’ve been extremely muzzled. That’s not to say there’s always something to say or a need to say something, but I’ve been extremely laid back and didn’t say much. Some of it was because of work related stuff or stuff I was going through personally. I was also in a space where I felt like I didn’t have anything of value to say, or feel like I was saying something that everyone else was saying – if it’s a common thread or common trend, why would I need to add my input to it? So yeah, I had a muzzle on for about two years straight.

I’ve learned that language can solve a lot of problems in life. Sometimes people are feeling things and they are frustrated because they don’t have language for it. I understand because that was a lot of my frustration. One of the reasons I follow the Friends (The Pastors of All Nations Worship Assembly – Atlanta) is because every time I’m in their space they say something, oftentimes is unintentional, which gives me language for where I am and where I need to be headed. This is my thought, it may be insignificant to you, but nine times out of ten, there is one person who can benefit from it and we have a responsibility to share. It’s not always comfortable for me. I actually hate it, and would rather be quiet and in the background. I am learning to own the responsibility, which is why I’ve been more vocal.

Me: For this, we are thankful. For years, I have been one who has wrestled with my voice. I remember hearing, “Your voice is assigned to somebody.” The crazy thing about the world is, there are billions of people. You may say something and people won’t hear it. I will say the same thing and they will respond as if I’ve solved a great mystery! No, I’m just repeating what he said.

Khas: Exactly, I believe we have assigned audiences.

Me: And your audience is waiting. Khas, your life is blessed. I’m glad to know you. I’m glad to see the transformation in you. Its palpable. It’s beautiful. I am excited to see what happens in your future.

Khas has penned two books about grace. Shades of Grace and The Grace Factor. His most recent release is titled Decoding the CreativesThey can all be found on Amazon.com.

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Khas is a Business Consultant, Author, and Ghostwriter, Editor and Speaker.
He can be found on all social media platforms under Khas Dock.

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Feel free to follow, like, and share.

The Overcomer’s Hall of Fame: K’la Fleming

Greeting Overcomers!

I am embarking on a new project called The Overcomer’s Hall of Fame. The purpose is to highlight people who are pursuing their purpose in the face of tragedy, trauma, and the obstacles that come with life.

Meet K’la Fleming, the Author. K’la recently released her first book titled, WOW: Woman of Worth.

I had an awesome time speaking with K’la. Here is the highlight of our conversation:

Nicole: Tell me about yourself?

K’la: I took a step of faith and moved to Atlanta two years ago from Norfolk, VA. I didn’t initially want to move here but I had a dream that let me know moving was in my best interest. Although it has been a journey, I have embraced my new life as well as experienced tremendous growth. These past few years has taken me on a path to self-acceptance.

I light up a room with my loud personality. I am loving and I love people. I am also spontaneous.

Nicole: What does being an overcomer mean to you?

K’la: In the face of obstacles, it’s the ability to step over, go around or use them as a stepping stone. Keeping the boxing gloves on and polished. Being equipped with the armor of God. Letting go of something that would hinder your progress.

Nicole: The boxing glove is a great analogy for an overcomer. What have you overcome?

K’la: Saying yes to everything, being a people pleaser, low self-esteem and fear. Feeling uncomfortable because I was often accused for being extra. Not knowing at the time people will accuse you of being extra when they’re not comfortable with themselves.

Nicole: How did you overcome these obstacles?

K’la: I had to learn to stop dumbing myself down.

When I’m in a room with other creatives, I have to resist the notion to hide and decide to speak up. I realize I have something of value to add.

I had fear of moving here because I didn’t want to lose friends, having to navigate what’s next and tackling a big city.

Also, my safe space is my room. Learning to have the same confidence in a public setting that I have at home. Being able to notice things I love to do and display confidence without minimizing herself.

When I feel like shrinking back, I remind myself what God says about me by listening to recordings or reading something I’ve written. I choose to face and embrace those feelings and push past it anyway.

I remind myself to embrace who I am. I embrace my laugh which is unique and contagious. I celebrate my personality because it is big. People connect to me because my personality and laugh is contagious. It’s scary at times, but being confident that it’s how it’s supposed to be.

I have to get over assumptions, what I’d think people think about me. As a result of my assuming, I would shut down or remove myself from situations in order to avoid uncomfortable interactions that may happen.

Nicole: Tell me about WOW? What is the message you want your readers to know?

K’la: WOW is inspired by a conversation I had with a friend in April 2018. After the conversation, I began writing from the words that were coming in my head.

The purpose of WOW is to highlight God as father. It’s about transformation from a woman of insecurity to a woman of worth. In my mind I saw a vision of God as father and Him being available and letting me know I am worthy of His time and everything he has to give.

You may find K’la at:

IG: _worthsaving_

FB: K’La Marie and @WondrouslyWorthy

WOW: Woman of Worth can be found at:

Work it!

Hello, Overcomers! How are you?

In this life of mental health, we tend to struggle with consistency. Consistency and discipline is so important.

For me, when I’m doing well, I forget that I have meds to take. I forget that I need to get out and get sunlight. I forget that I need to keep making positive declarations. I forget that I should get some form of exercise. I forget that I must continue to engage in things that contribute to me having good mental health.

I am the first to admit, you can be working your plan and still have “moments.” However, there are many times that the problem is that we’re not working our plan.

Even if you have to write a daily routine, stick to your plan. A deviation to your plan will clue you into the idea that something is off. We can be more proactive with our mental health when we have a plan.

Community – tell your plan to your community of friends. Allow them the space to remind you of your plan to help get you back on track. Allow them the opportunity to support you. Sometimes when you’re in the midst of a “moment,” you don’t realize you’re in that moment until it becomes some days and you find it hard to pull out of it.

Having a plan, and a community who knows your plan helps everyone involved to assist you. Also, ask your counselor to help you manage as new things come up. Utilize every resource available to you.

If you work your plan, your plan will work for you.

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I’d love to hear from you. What would you like for me to discuss?
How are you doing?
You can also follow me on my social media pages.

 

Stand.

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When I look at this I see tumultuous peace. How did the sky go from being blue to various shades of oranges and red like an angry fire?

Yet, it’s peaceful. It’s saying to me yes, there battle going on behind the scenes. There’s a war being waged. Turmoil. Strife. Confusion.

There’s also victory happening. Peace conquering over turmoil. Harmony happening I’ve strife. Certainty over confusion.

How can this be? How can you have two opposing things going on simultaneously? In the same life?

And yet, like the tower that’s standing, I stand alone. Only I can fight this war within. Only I can stand against the things that stand against me. Yes, there are people and outside forces that encourage, but I must, within myself, make a decision.

I made the decision to stand. Sometimes shaking. Sometimes trembling in fear. Sometimes ready to quit. But there’s a force within me that won’t let me quit. Won’t let me die. Won’t let me give up.

So.
I.
Stand.

And.
I.
Win.

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My view of the sky. Georgia. 10/25/18.

 

 

Hey! Where You Been?

Hey guys!

I’m getting back in the swing of things. I’ve been out of commission for a while, but I’m back and I’m focusing. Instead of trying to write everything out, I thought I’d do a video. I hope that something is said to help you on your journey to healing and wholeness.

We’re in this together!

Blessings to you!

Nothing Wasted

Happy Monday, Overcomers!

Today is a good day, so let’s make the most of it.

I want to share about a book I’m reading called “Hinds Feet on High Places,” by Hannah Hurnard. I read this book years ago, but I felt a strong urge to pick it up again last week. Truth is, I don’t remember most of what happened, so it’s like reading it for the first time.

I won’t tell the story, but in the beginning of the story, the “Good Shepherd” tells Much-Afraid (yes that’s her name) that nothing he and his father makes is wasted.

This is what I want you to know today:

Nothing the Father creates is a waste; neither is it worthless. You are supposed to be here. You are loved. You are worth it. You are enough. God loves you.

Come on now, get up.

You can do it. Keep pushing. Your future is cheering for you!

Affirmed.

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Hello, Overcomers! How are you? For the past few weeks, I’ve been digging into the word affirmed. I never really gave this word much thought. Nor did I ever contemplate its full meaning. This is what I’m tapping into on this journey…

The first time I heard the word “affirmed,” was about twenty years ago. I can hear her say it, “God says, ‘I affirm you.’” It was in the late nineties during Mrs. Serita Jakes’ first Woman to Woman conference. She made this declaration as she ministered. I didn’t like it. I didn’t know why, but I didn’t. It didn’t sound good to my ears – at all. Although the announcement knocked at the door of my heart, I didn’t know how to receive it.

Twenty-plus years later, this word is part of my daily affirmations. How “like God” is that? When I think of affirmations, I think of positive statements that I say over myself in alignment with what God says about me.

Wait a minute! God is saying something about me! I never processed the weight of that thought until I wrote it! WOW!! – – Guess what? He’s saying good things!

Let’s look at the word affirmation. In the Webster’s Dictionary, this is what it says:
-To say that something is true in a confident way.
-To show a strong belief in or dedication to.

I’m excited because affirm is a verb. That means it’s an action word. God is affirming me. He has affirmed me. And He will affirm me. In my past, I was affirmed. In my present, I am affirmed. In my future, GOD. AFFIRMS. ME.

What does this mean? According to the definition of affirm, He is confidently speaking the truth about me. He can’t lie, so whatever He says concerning me is truth. It also means He has strong belief in me. Not only that, but He is dedicated to me! He’s dedicated to His word over me! He loves me! According to Jeremiah 1:12, He is watching over His word to perform it! He’s performing it for me, in me, and through me!

Whatever God has promised gets stamped with the Yes of Jesus. In him, this is what we preach and pray, the great Amen, God’s Yes and our Yes together, gloriously evident. God affirms us, making us a sure thing in Christ, putting his Yes within us. By his Spirit he has stamped us with his eternal pledge—a sure beginning of what he is destined to complete. 2 Corinthians 1:20-22 MSG

For all of God’s promises find their “yes” of fulfillment in him. And as his “yes” and our “amen” ascend to God, we bring him glory! Now, it is God himself who has anointed us. And he is constantly strengthening both you and us in union with Christ. He knows we are his since he has also stamped his seal of love over our hearts and has given us the Holy Spirit like an engagement ring is given to a bride—a down payment of the blessings to come! 2 Corinthians 1:20-22 TPT

“The Will”

Happy Monday, Overcomers! It’s a great day, yes?

In my normal fashion, I’ll jump right in. A will is a legal document that indicates how a person wants his or her money and/or property to be distributed after death.

We know that God has a will for us. We know that the earth and everything in it belongs to Him. We also know that He’s alive. He died, but He rose again.

Isn’t it amazing to know that God our Father has left us an inheritance that we have access to now, and He’s not dead!

Today I want to remind you of your inheritance. God wrote a will, and all you have to do show up to the reading in order to recieve it.

How do you show up? I’m glad you asked. Right where you are, in your home, at your desk, in your car or wherever you are. All you have to do is submit your life to Christ, read the will (the Bible), and ask God what His plans are for you.

Knowing that you have an inheritance gives your life meaning. It gives you something to look forward to. Will you commit to finding out God’s will for your life?

I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.Jeremiah 29:‬11 MSG

May your Kingdom come soon. May your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven.
Matthew 6:10 NLT

The “Fussing Auntie”

Happy Tuesday, Overcomers!

Today, I want to ask you (us) to be kind to yourself.

The same grace and forgiveness that you extend to others? Extend it to YOU.

The same way you extend a pass to others for being human? Extend it to YOU.

Stop being your own hater.

Stop being your own enemy.

Stop putting yourself down.

Start building yourself up.

Start affirming yourself.

Start applauding yourself.

Starting telling yourself, “I can do it.”

Start pursuing your best version of yourself.

I’m wearing the “fussing Auntie” hat today. And while I’m fussing at you, I’m fussing at me, too.

I’m finished fussing now. (smile)

I want to see you win. I want you to have the best. I want you to be the best version of you possible. You have permission to live!

Out of the Grave

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There’s a grave you dug
My emotions are buried there
My freedom of expression, my confidence
-buried in a grave you dug.

All in hopes to keep me silent.

I am angry.
I want, no, I need to hate you.

You live in a grave of manipulation and despair.
But I refuse to join you there.

And even though it’s taken a long time
to come out of the grave,
I can see the light now.

God’s hand is reaching for me.

“I don’t trust you,” I say.
“You men are all alike.”

But –
His love…

His love is wooing me
His love is covering me
His love is protecting me.

Stephanie Mills says, “I never knew love like this,”
but…

It’s God’s unfailing love.

His love is healing me.
His love is holding me.
His love is mending me.
His love is freeing me.

His love pulled me
Out of the grave.

Author, Nicole Sharon

He rescues them from the grave so they may enjoy the light of life.
Job 33:30

But as for me, God will redeem my life.
He will snatch me from the power of the grave.
Psalm 49:15