“Default Settings”

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If you’ve ever worked on a computer or a cell phone and went to settings, it will ask you if you would like to “restore to default settings.” What is your life default settings? How do you respond to life? Conflict? People? Certain situations? Let’s talk about it.

I learned something recently. Pain & trauma in your memory has no time line. So until it’s processed and healed, it will feel like it just happened and you go back to that place often. Many even feel through symptoms in the body (stomach pain, for example).

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I’m learning, as I heal, to remind myself that it’s over. The past, pain, nor trauma has no bearing on who I am or who I will be. Trauma doesn’t diminish my worth.

Fight for your healing. It won’t come for you. You must fight for it.

You’re worth it.

Having said that, I am in pursuit of changing my “default setting.” I was talking to someone the other day and I was telling them how I usually respond to conflict-that it was my default setting.

Later, I began to think about that. I didn’t like it.

Don’t I have the power to change? Don’t I have the right to adjust my thinking, my perspective, and my actions? Of course I do.

I’ve added another component to my mental health. It’s call DBT (Dialectical behavior therapy). In my limited understanding (I’ve only been to one class), DBT teaches you coping and management skills. The major thing I’m working on right now is learning how to properly process anxiety. I am determined that anxiety will not run or ruin my life.

I believe that the undercurrent that produces anxiety can be processed and healed. When I say undercurrent, I’m speaking of the pain that is stored in your body. You don’t realize it’s still there, but it doesn’t mean we can’t heal from it. I often wonder where anxiety comes from because, in my mind, I’m not thinking about anything. In many recent instances, I’m having a good time before it shows up. In my mind, this is the undercurrent; a warning of something I need to be aware (but not afraid) of.

I’m not a professional, but I do a lot of reading and researching. I’m a thinker/over thinker. The purpose of this post is to give us another perspective that will hoped lead to answers and healing. And to hopefully have a better understanding regarding what I’m experiencing. It helps me to change my default settings.

No, I don’t want to be restored to my default settings. The default setting have not served me well. I am creating new settings. How about you? Let’s do it!

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Love, Hope & Joy

Hello all! I decided today would be a great day to share an excerpt from my book, Texts from an Angel. Enjoy…

Amy was so depressed. She didn’t want to bother her friends. She knew they were busy. However, after being in bed three days, her guardian angel, Hope, was flustered.

“I hate to bust your angelic wings, but what she needs is a little Joy. No pun intended.” Joy quipped.

“Oh dear heaven!” Hope slapped her wings together in frustration. “Here you are again, in my personal business.”

“You don’t have any personal business. This is all God’s business or did you forget? I keep telling you the Joy of the Lord is where strength comes from.”

“And we also know that ‘hope deferred makes the heart sick.’ That’s why I’m here. So go…” While Hope and Joy are arguing, Amy is holding a bottle of pills. She’s sick of it all.

“Ladies! Ladies!” Love steps in. “Stop it. You’re off focus again. Look.” Amy was pouring a glass of water and had several bottles of pills lined up on the counter. Hope and Joy looked at each other. They knew what to do. Before Amy could reach for the first bottle, a strong wind blew through her kitchen and pills and bottles were flying everywhere!

Conveniently, most of the pills flew down the drain. Amy was so stunned with what was going on around her she didn’t hear her doorbell ringing. Her best friend, Keya, was at the door. After ringing the doorbell for several minutes, Keya decided to use her spare key to get in.

Hearing all the commotion, Kenya rushed to the kitchen. “Amy! What’s the matter? I got your text. Why didn’t you tell me you were so depressed? I’m so sorry I haven’t been here.” Amy was still stunned as she looked at her friend.

“You got a text? I turned my phone off three days ago.” Keya showed her a text message that came from her phone. It read, “I love you, sister, but I can’t do this anymore. I’m sorry.”

After a long talk, Keya decided to take Amy home with her until her mother flew into town. Spending time in the nurturing warmth of a mother’s love would help tremendously. She would also seek counseling and formulate a safety plan.

A safety plan is a specific plan you set in place for yourself to ensure your safety whether physical or emotional. The plan usually includes coping mechanism, phone numbers, and maybe personal reminders for you or ways you can distract yourself.  

If you are ever feeling like Amy, please contact either of these numbers:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Call 1-800-273-8255
Or text: Crisis Text Line: Text RISE to 741741  

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This is an excerpt from my book, Texts from an Angel. You can purchase it at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07QC2GD93/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_BKGPCbDK92FJ3

For a paper copy, email me at nicolesharonwrites@gmail.com

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Hey! Where You Been?

Hey guys!

I’m getting back in the swing of things. I’ve been out of commission for a while, but I’m back and I’m focusing. Instead of trying to write everything out, I thought I’d do a video. I hope that something is said to help you on your journey to healing and wholeness.

We’re in this together!

Blessings to you!

You can handle it.

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You can handle being healed…

I was talking to a friend, and she said these words to me. “Nicole, you can handle being healed.” I stopped her mid-sentence. Wait! Ma’am! What you say?

So, here’s the thing. I have been on this journey to healing and wholeness. I’ve been asking God, what does that look like? How will I act? Who will I be? What will change?

Trauma, pain, sadness, low self-esteem, insecurity, isolation, etc. becomes comfortable when that’s all you know. It effects the way you view your life, your relationships, other people… It’s all a smoke screen. It doesn’t allow you to see life clearly.

Yes, it’s hard work. Yes, it is so uncomfortable. I admit, there is fear in the unknown. Who am I without pain? How will my perspective change once the negative thoughts that have become my friends are evicted from my mind? What will I think about? Who will my new “friends” be? (Can you tell I overthink?)

No one can give me the blueprint of how it’s going to look and, as much as I would like to know, the date when the project of rebuilding my life will be complete. Note to self: settle in sis, for the rest of your life you will be evolving, growing, changing, rebuilding – constantly under construction. Learn to enjoy the beauty of each season.

I think I will. How about you? Let’s make this resolve together: I resolve to go through my journey and trust that God will never leave me. I don’t know what the journey cost me, but I know the payoff is priceless. I resolve to stay in the fight. Though bruised and scarred, I will win.

I stand in strength.

Knowing God made me who I am.

He doesn’t waste His energy on anything or anyone that is not of value.

I can do this.

I will stand.

I will fight.

I am more than a conqueror.

I am an overcomer.

The pressure will not break me.

I will not be silent.

He created me for greatness.

I am whole.

I am prosperous.

The victory is mine.

I am an overcomer.

I’m talking to YOU!

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God. Loves. You.

I’m asking you to read this declaration and take it personally. Say this to yourself. Breathe it in.

God’s love is not based on condition or on what I can do. I don’t have to perform for God. He loves me no matter what.

There is nothing I can do that’s good enough to earn the unconditional love of God.

He’s always looking out for me, always seeking me. I am a priority to Him.

There’s nothing I can do to make Him have good thoughts towards me – He already has good thoughts towards me and about me.

His love in infinite and unexplainable. I’ll never grasp the full depth of His love. It’s a pure, untainted, unblemished, endless love.

He doesn’t withhold His love when I mess up. His love is always available.

He’s the only person who knows absolutely everything about me, yet He CHOOSES to love me anyway.


Check out my most recent Facebook live, https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1801846973247216&id=172853770084028

 

Nothing Wasted

Happy Monday, Overcomers!

Today is a good day, so let’s make the most of it.

I want to share about a book I’m reading called “Hinds Feet on High Places,” by Hannah Hurnard. I read this book years ago, but I felt a strong urge to pick it up again last week. Truth is, I don’t remember most of what happened, so it’s like reading it for the first time.

I won’t tell the story, but in the beginning of the story, the “Good Shepherd” tells Much-Afraid (yes that’s her name) that nothing he and his father makes is wasted.

This is what I want you to know today:

Nothing the Father creates is a waste; neither is it worthless. You are supposed to be here. You are loved. You are worth it. You are enough. God loves you.

Come on now, get up.

You can do it. Keep pushing. Your future is cheering for you!

Affirmed.

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Hello, Overcomers! How are you? For the past few weeks, I’ve been digging into the word affirmed. I never really gave this word much thought. Nor did I ever contemplate its full meaning. This is what I’m tapping into on this journey…

The first time I heard the word “affirmed,” was about twenty years ago. I can hear her say it, “God says, ‘I affirm you.’” It was in the late nineties during Mrs. Serita Jakes’ first Woman to Woman conference. She made this declaration as she ministered. I didn’t like it. I didn’t know why, but I didn’t. It didn’t sound good to my ears – at all. Although the announcement knocked at the door of my heart, I didn’t know how to receive it.

Twenty-plus years later, this word is part of my daily affirmations. How “like God” is that? When I think of affirmations, I think of positive statements that I say over myself in alignment with what God says about me.

Wait a minute! God is saying something about me! I never processed the weight of that thought until I wrote it! WOW!! – – Guess what? He’s saying good things!

Let’s look at the word affirmation. In the Webster’s Dictionary, this is what it says:
-To say that something is true in a confident way.
-To show a strong belief in or dedication to.

I’m excited because affirm is a verb. That means it’s an action word. God is affirming me. He has affirmed me. And He will affirm me. In my past, I was affirmed. In my present, I am affirmed. In my future, GOD. AFFIRMS. ME.

What does this mean? According to the definition of affirm, He is confidently speaking the truth about me. He can’t lie, so whatever He says concerning me is truth. It also means He has strong belief in me. Not only that, but He is dedicated to me! He’s dedicated to His word over me! He loves me! According to Jeremiah 1:12, He is watching over His word to perform it! He’s performing it for me, in me, and through me!

Whatever God has promised gets stamped with the Yes of Jesus. In him, this is what we preach and pray, the great Amen, God’s Yes and our Yes together, gloriously evident. God affirms us, making us a sure thing in Christ, putting his Yes within us. By his Spirit he has stamped us with his eternal pledge—a sure beginning of what he is destined to complete. 2 Corinthians 1:20-22 MSG

For all of God’s promises find their “yes” of fulfillment in him. And as his “yes” and our “amen” ascend to God, we bring him glory! Now, it is God himself who has anointed us. And he is constantly strengthening both you and us in union with Christ. He knows we are his since he has also stamped his seal of love over our hearts and has given us the Holy Spirit like an engagement ring is given to a bride—a down payment of the blessings to come! 2 Corinthians 1:20-22 TPT