Mirror, Mirror

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It’s Monday again, Overcomers! Did you have a great weekend? I pray so.

If you were in an abusive relationship, would you get out of it as quickly as possible? If someone were disrespectful to you would you let them know? Maybe have a conversation with them? Maybe find out if there’s a misunderstanding?

You’d make steps to remove yourself from an abusive relationship – especially the person perpetrating the abuse, right? So what if that person is you?

As we jump into the new week, I want to ask you to consider how you’re treating yourself. Can you sit down and have a talk with yourself?

What do you tell yourself about your future? What are you telling yourself about your worth? What you deserve? What you don’t deserve? When you look in the mirror, what are you telling yourself?

I want to encourage you by saying this: God doesn’t change His mind about you. His love doesn’t run out, and you are worth the fight it takes for your future.

Thought for today:

The last couple of weeks, I’ve felt like I was at war in my mind. It was as if the right side of my brain was fighting with my left. The right side was saying, “Go for it. You can do it! God put the desire in you to help others.”

At the exact same time, the left side was saying, “What’s the point? Nobody wants or needs your help. You don’t have anything to offer.” #sigh

While I was starting to believe that voice on the right, that left side was irritating me and I wondered if I was going to make it out of the day with my brain intact.

I woke up this morning deciding I was not going to be the one who continued to abuse me. I made a commitment to myself to treat myself with honor, integrity, respect and love. I believe God wouldn’t have it any other way.

Will you make a commitment with me today? To your future? To stay in the fight? To stay on the journey? We’re in this together.

Work Your Process

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Happy Monday, Overcomers! It’s that time again!

I had a weird experience yesterday that I want to tell you about. I was driving down a back road in Georgia (I wasn’t speeding this time), and I noticed a car behind me and he swerved a little, venturing a little off the road. If you know anything about back roads in Georgia, you know that you don’t have a lot room for error.

The road switched to two lanes and the driver passed me. I slowed and stayed a good distance behind him because I saw him swerve a couple more times and veer just off the edge of the road.

I began praying for the driver. I asked the Lord to protect him and help him make it home safely. I prayed that whatever his physical or mental condition was that he would make it home safely. I prayed for the angels to protect him and guide him safely home. I prayed for his peace and his salvation. In that moment, I felt the weight of this man’s life.

This is how I see you, beloved. I see you headed toward your destination. You are on your journey towards healing and wholeness. I see you swerving a little. I see that you get tired sometimes. I see that you sometimes feel hopeless in the process. I’m praying for your strength. I’m praying for your faith. I am praying for your life, your purpose. Don’t give up. Keep working your process. Your best days are ahead of you. It will be worth it in the end!

Thought for today:

Make sure you are healing and not just growing accustomed to the pain.

When a person has surgery, the doctor may tell you to wait six weeks before participating in certain activities. By week three, you may feel good enough to move furniture, but know that when/if you do, you will injure yourself, and could possibly end up back in surgery or in worse condition.

Work your healing process. Pay attention to your heart, mind, spirit, and body. Be healed. Be delivered. Be set free.

Remember, God loves you.
I love you.
You are loved.
You are worthy of love.
No matter who dropped you, God willingly picks you up.

My Protector

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Happy Friday, Overcomers!

I’m my early twenties, I had a dream that I will never forget. I was in a corner store, and someone came in shooting. As I stood frozen in fear, bullets were hitting me but bouncing off me and hitting the floor. All I kept hearing in my ear was, “No weapon formed against you will prosper,” which is found in Isaiah 54:17. I did not know at the time that weapon formed against me was me.

Years later, I reflect often on this dream. I reflect on a loving Father that saved me from myself –  how He protected me. He saved me from the way I felt about myself. The way I felt about life. I’m not going to ever lie to you and say that it’s all been perfect. It’s not going to happen in a blink of an eye, but through process and work, you will get there.

It will get better. Every day is not going to be a bed of roses. Matter of fact, if you know anything about roses, you know that there are thorns on the stem. But they’re still beautiful, yes? So, I want to encourage you on this journey that we are on, that though there are thorns, the roses (your life) is still beautiful. You are beautiful. You are worth the time invested in you by your loved ones. You are valuable. You are loved. You are enough.

Thought for today:
I’m thankful that you are reading this blog. I am thankful that you have decided to give life another try.

As you head into the weekend, will you do me a favor? Have some fun. Hang out with some friends. Get some sun. Allow someone to show you some love. I look forward to speaking to you Monday.

Feel free to inbox me. Check out my FB page, The Life of an Overcomer.
Have a great weekend!

 

Tough Love

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Hello, Overcomers!

 Are you in counseling? Do you have people in your life that can tell you the truth? It’s important for your success.

One of the things that I learned when I first started counseling was about cognitive distortions. In other words, irrational thinking.

What my counselor would do was ask me about how I was processing or perceiving my life or a situation. If my thoughts were irrational, she would say, “how did you come to that conclusion?” or, “You made a mistake; however, that does not make you a failure.” or “Do you realize that was an irrational thought?”

So, for a little tough love today, I want to encourage you to allow people to confront your irrational thinking – My life is over! I’m a horrible person. I’m never going to get over this! I’m stupid! I’m never going to get better! – These are all examples of irrational thinking. (Remember our affirmations?)

I want to give you some food for thought regarding counseling. If all you do is sit on a sofa or chair and talk, but never gain any coping skills, emotional management skills, or tools to do life as “normal” as possible (I use that term loosely) then I would like for you to reconsider your therapist or counselor.

If your “squad” never confronts you or challenges you, push you, or encourage you to do better, be better, and have better? Chances are you might be in the wrong squad.

Thought for today:
When I was in college, my intent was to come a Social Worker. The theme of Social Work was to empower.

To empower someone means to give (someone) the authority or power to do something. It also means to make (someone) stronger and more confident, especially in controlling their life and claiming their rights.

This is (in my opinion) the point of having a counselor, therapist, or even your friends. I believe that we should all be empowering someone in life.

I pray that through your encounters, whether it be your peers or professional counseling, that you would be made stronger and more confident about your life and your future.

Four-parts to Success

Good morning, Overcomers! Happy Monday!!

There are three important things that keep me together. Christ, community, and counseling. I guess you can call them the “Three Cs.” There is much conversation recently about mental health, so I want to talk about it a little from the medical perspective and share my conclusions while offering a little transparency about my journey.biopsyspirsocial

When I was in college, I took a lot of psychology and counseling courses. My plan was to become a counselor. I learned that our health, both physical and emotional, are biopsychosocial in nature (body, mind, community). What this means is that our issues in life cannot be attributed to just one factor. All three aspects of our lives contribute to our health. Lately, there has been another factor added, and that is the spiritual. This is based loosely off my understanding, but what I gather from this information is that our health, or the lack thereof is attributed to four things: physical, psychological, social, and spiritual.

What’s the point? I am glad you asked. The way I see it, it’s like a good meal. I was raised to think a good meal has at least three parts: a meat, a vegetable and a starch. Throw in some cornbread and a glass of Kool-Aid, and you’re set! Ha!

Okay, okay. So, here’s the point. During a difficult season, I had a setback. My anxiety levels were high, I was struggling, not resting, and eventually, cutting. For some reason, I had told my self that my journey was complete and I had “won the battle with mental illness.” Laugh. Out. Loud. For real? Who told me that? #sigh

Upon realizing what was going on, my first reaction was to get upset. How did I get here, again? Several things happened. Someone noticed that I was acting “different” and called me on it (community). Someone prayed with me (invited Christ into my situation). I received counseling which aided me in dealing with the psychological triggers and emotions I was dealing with, which helped me get some rest (not getting enough rest is not good for your mental health). It also helps to get some exercise in too, right?

You see how all that works together? We need them all. Gone are the days where people are afraid to get the help that they need. I am praying, that gone are the days when we go about our merry little lives and forget that there are others around and check on them and make sure they are okay. Gone of the days of selfishness and struggling and suffering in silence. I pray and end to it! Amen!

The bottom line to this lesson for me was that I have to keep working my process. There’s no such thing as an “end” to your journey as long as you are alive. That applies to just life in general. We should all be seeking to be better. Better humans. Better parents. Better workers. Better business men/women. Better spouses. Etcetera.

So what if you have certain precautions that you need to take to ensure that you take care of your mental health? Maybe there are certain things you can’t watch. Maybe there are certain conversations you can’t have. Maybe there’s a certain amount of time you need to spend outdoors (I know it’s hot, lol). Maybe, just maybe, you will have to let your guard down and lay your pride aside and tell your friends or family, “Hey, I’m hurting. Can you help me?” You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Me? I just want you to live…and have joy. And peace. And success. And happiness. And wholeness. And laughter. And love. And healthy self-esteem. And healthy relationships. And whatever it is that you once dreamed about and thought that it was not possible anymore.

Prayer for today:

Father, in the name of Jesus, I pray for every person reading this blog. I pray that something I say blesses them and helps them. I pray for their mental health and stability. I pray that they open up just enough to let someone into their lives and that they will allow their community to love them and care about them. I pray that you would partner them with the right doctors and/or counselors that will help them on their journey to healing and wholeness. Whatever is causing you sadness, depression, anxiety, etc., I pray that you will find strength and courage to reach out for help – – and receive the help once you have it. I pray that you will not feel shame or condemnation for needing the help. I pray that you are kind to yourself as you walk this journey to healing and wholeness.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-8255