The Overcomer’s Hall of Fame: K’la Fleming

Greeting Overcomers!

I am embarking on a new project called The Overcomer’s Hall of Fame. The purpose is to highlight people who are pursuing their purpose in the face of tragedy, trauma, and the obstacles that come with life.

Meet K’la Fleming, the Author. K’la recently released her first book titled, WOW: Woman of Worth.

I had an awesome time speaking with K’la. Here is the highlight of our conversation:

Nicole: Tell me about yourself?

K’la: I took a step of faith and moved to Atlanta two years ago from Norfolk, VA. I didn’t initially want to move here but I had a dream that let me know moving was in my best interest. Although it has been a journey, I have embraced my new life as well as experienced tremendous growth. These past few years has taken me on a path to self-acceptance.

I light up a room with my loud personality. I am loving and I love people. I am also spontaneous.

Nicole: What does being an overcomer mean to you?

K’la: In the face of obstacles, it’s the ability to step over, go around or use them as a stepping stone. Keeping the boxing gloves on and polished. Being equipped with the armor of God. Letting go of something that would hinder your progress.

Nicole: The boxing glove is a great analogy for an overcomer. What have you overcome?

K’la: Saying yes to everything, being a people pleaser, low self-esteem and fear. Feeling uncomfortable because I was often accused for being extra. Not knowing at the time people will accuse you of being extra when they’re not comfortable with themselves.

Nicole: How did you overcome these obstacles?

K’la: I had to learn to stop dumbing myself down.

When I’m in a room with other creatives, I have to resist the notion to hide and decide to speak up. I realize I have something of value to add.

I had fear of moving here because I didn’t want to lose friends, having to navigate what’s next and tackling a big city.

Also, my safe space is my room. Learning to have the same confidence in a public setting that I have at home. Being able to notice things I love to do and display confidence without minimizing herself.

When I feel like shrinking back, I remind myself what God says about me by listening to recordings or reading something I’ve written. I choose to face and embrace those feelings and push past it anyway.

I remind myself to embrace who I am. I embrace my laugh which is unique and contagious. I celebrate my personality because it is big. People connect to me because my personality and laugh is contagious. It’s scary at times, but being confident that it’s how it’s supposed to be.

I have to get over assumptions, what I’d think people think about me. As a result of my assuming, I would shut down or remove myself from situations in order to avoid uncomfortable interactions that may happen.

Nicole: Tell me about WOW? What is the message you want your readers to know?

K’la: WOW is inspired by a conversation I had with a friend in April 2018. After the conversation, I began writing from the words that were coming in my head.

The purpose of WOW is to highlight God as father. It’s about transformation from a woman of insecurity to a woman of worth. In my mind I saw a vision of God as father and Him being available and letting me know I am worthy of His time and everything he has to give.

You may find K’la at:

IG: _worthsaving_

FB: K’La Marie and @WondrouslyWorthy

WOW: Woman of Worth can be found at:

Work it!

Hello, Overcomers! How are you?

In this life of mental health, we tend to struggle with consistency. Consistency and discipline is so important.

For me, when I’m doing well, I forget that I have meds to take. I forget that I need to get out and get sunlight. I forget that I need to keep making positive declarations. I forget that I should get some form of exercise. I forget that I must continue to engage in things that contribute to me having good mental health.

I am the first to admit, you can be working your plan and still have “moments.” However, there are many times that the problem is that we’re not working our plan.

Even if you have to write a daily routine, stick to your plan. A deviation to your plan will clue you into the idea that something is off. We can be more proactive with our mental health when we have a plan.

Community – tell your plan to your community of friends. Allow them the space to remind you of your plan to help get you back on track. Allow them the opportunity to support you. Sometimes when you’re in the midst of a “moment,” you don’t realize you’re in that moment until it becomes some days and you find it hard to pull out of it.

Having a plan, and a community who knows your plan helps everyone involved to assist you. Also, ask your counselor to help you manage as new things come up. Utilize every resource available to you.

If you work your plan, your plan will work for you.

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I’d love to hear from you. What would you like for me to discuss?
How are you doing?
You can also follow me on my social media pages.

 

“Default Settings”

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If you’ve ever worked on a computer or a cell phone and went to settings, it will ask you if you would like to “restore to default settings.” What is your life default settings? How do you respond to life? Conflict? People? Certain situations? Let’s talk about it.

I learned something recently. Pain & trauma in your memory has no time line. So until it’s processed and healed, it will feel like it just happened and you go back to that place often. Many even feel through symptoms in the body (stomach pain, for example).

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I’m learning, as I heal, to remind myself that it’s over. The past, pain, nor trauma has no bearing on who I am or who I will be. Trauma doesn’t diminish my worth.

Fight for your healing. It won’t come for you. You must fight for it.

You’re worth it.

Having said that, I am in pursuit of changing my “default setting.” I was talking to someone the other day and I was telling them how I usually respond to conflict-that it was my default setting.

Later, I began to think about that. I didn’t like it.

Don’t I have the power to change? Don’t I have the right to adjust my thinking, my perspective, and my actions? Of course I do.

I’ve added another component to my mental health. It’s call DBT (Dialectical behavior therapy). In my limited understanding (I’ve only been to one class), DBT teaches you coping and management skills. The major thing I’m working on right now is learning how to properly process anxiety. I am determined that anxiety will not run or ruin my life.

I believe that the undercurrent that produces anxiety can be processed and healed. When I say undercurrent, I’m speaking of the pain that is stored in your body. You don’t realize it’s still there, but it doesn’t mean we can’t heal from it. I often wonder where anxiety comes from because, in my mind, I’m not thinking about anything. In many recent instances, I’m having a good time before it shows up. In my mind, this is the undercurrent; a warning of something I need to be aware (but not afraid) of.

I’m not a professional, but I do a lot of reading and researching. I’m a thinker/over thinker. The purpose of this post is to give us another perspective that will hoped lead to answers and healing. And to hopefully have a better understanding regarding what I’m experiencing. It helps me to change my default settings.

No, I don’t want to be restored to my default settings. The default setting have not served me well. I am creating new settings. How about you? Let’s do it!

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Stand.

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When I look at this I see tumultuous peace. How did the sky go from being blue to various shades of oranges and red like an angry fire?

Yet, it’s peaceful. It’s saying to me yes, there battle going on behind the scenes. There’s a war being waged. Turmoil. Strife. Confusion.

There’s also victory happening. Peace conquering over turmoil. Harmony happening I’ve strife. Certainty over confusion.

How can this be? How can you have two opposing things going on simultaneously? In the same life?

And yet, like the tower that’s standing, I stand alone. Only I can fight this war within. Only I can stand against the things that stand against me. Yes, there are people and outside forces that encourage, but I must, within myself, make a decision.

I made the decision to stand. Sometimes shaking. Sometimes trembling in fear. Sometimes ready to quit. But there’s a force within me that won’t let me quit. Won’t let me die. Won’t let me give up.

So.
I.
Stand.

And.
I.
Win.

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My view of the sky. Georgia. 10/25/18.

 

 

I’m talking to YOU!

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God. Loves. You.

I’m asking you to read this declaration and take it personally. Say this to yourself. Breathe it in.

God’s love is not based on condition or on what I can do. I don’t have to perform for God. He loves me no matter what.

There is nothing I can do that’s good enough to earn the unconditional love of God.

He’s always looking out for me, always seeking me. I am a priority to Him.

There’s nothing I can do to make Him have good thoughts towards me – He already has good thoughts towards me and about me.

His love in infinite and unexplainable. I’ll never grasp the full depth of His love. It’s a pure, untainted, unblemished, endless love.

He doesn’t withhold His love when I mess up. His love is always available.

He’s the only person who knows absolutely everything about me, yet He CHOOSES to love me anyway.


Check out my most recent Facebook live, https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1801846973247216&id=172853770084028

 

Nothing Wasted

Happy Monday, Overcomers!

Today is a good day, so let’s make the most of it.

I want to share about a book I’m reading called “Hinds Feet on High Places,” by Hannah Hurnard. I read this book years ago, but I felt a strong urge to pick it up again last week. Truth is, I don’t remember most of what happened, so it’s like reading it for the first time.

I won’t tell the story, but in the beginning of the story, the “Good Shepherd” tells Much-Afraid (yes that’s her name) that nothing he and his father makes is wasted.

This is what I want you to know today:

Nothing the Father creates is a waste; neither is it worthless. You are supposed to be here. You are loved. You are worth it. You are enough. God loves you.

Come on now, get up.

You can do it. Keep pushing. Your future is cheering for you!

Affirmed.

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Hello, Overcomers! How are you? For the past few weeks, I’ve been digging into the word affirmed. I never really gave this word much thought. Nor did I ever contemplate its full meaning. This is what I’m tapping into on this journey…

The first time I heard the word “affirmed,” was about twenty years ago. I can hear her say it, “God says, ‘I affirm you.’” It was in the late nineties during Mrs. Serita Jakes’ first Woman to Woman conference. She made this declaration as she ministered. I didn’t like it. I didn’t know why, but I didn’t. It didn’t sound good to my ears – at all. Although the announcement knocked at the door of my heart, I didn’t know how to receive it.

Twenty-plus years later, this word is part of my daily affirmations. How “like God” is that? When I think of affirmations, I think of positive statements that I say over myself in alignment with what God says about me.

Wait a minute! God is saying something about me! I never processed the weight of that thought until I wrote it! WOW!! – – Guess what? He’s saying good things!

Let’s look at the word affirmation. In the Webster’s Dictionary, this is what it says:
-To say that something is true in a confident way.
-To show a strong belief in or dedication to.

I’m excited because affirm is a verb. That means it’s an action word. God is affirming me. He has affirmed me. And He will affirm me. In my past, I was affirmed. In my present, I am affirmed. In my future, GOD. AFFIRMS. ME.

What does this mean? According to the definition of affirm, He is confidently speaking the truth about me. He can’t lie, so whatever He says concerning me is truth. It also means He has strong belief in me. Not only that, but He is dedicated to me! He’s dedicated to His word over me! He loves me! According to Jeremiah 1:12, He is watching over His word to perform it! He’s performing it for me, in me, and through me!

Whatever God has promised gets stamped with the Yes of Jesus. In him, this is what we preach and pray, the great Amen, God’s Yes and our Yes together, gloriously evident. God affirms us, making us a sure thing in Christ, putting his Yes within us. By his Spirit he has stamped us with his eternal pledge—a sure beginning of what he is destined to complete. 2 Corinthians 1:20-22 MSG

For all of God’s promises find their “yes” of fulfillment in him. And as his “yes” and our “amen” ascend to God, we bring him glory! Now, it is God himself who has anointed us. And he is constantly strengthening both you and us in union with Christ. He knows we are his since he has also stamped his seal of love over our hearts and has given us the Holy Spirit like an engagement ring is given to a bride—a down payment of the blessings to come! 2 Corinthians 1:20-22 TPT