Uncategorized

Work it!

Hello, Overcomers! How are you?

In this life of mental health, we tend to struggle with consistency. Consistency and discipline is so important.

For me, when I’m doing well, I forget that I have meds to take. I forget that I need to get out and get sunlight. I forget that I need to keep making positive declarations. I forget that I should get some form of exercise. I forget that I must continue to engage in things that contribute to me having good mental health.

I am the first to admit, you can be working your plan and still have “moments.” However, there are many times that the problem is that we’re not working our plan.

Even if you have to write a daily routine, stick to your plan. A deviation to your plan will clue you into the idea that something is off. We can be more proactive with our mental health when we have a plan.

Community – tell your plan to your community of friends. Allow them the space to remind you of your plan to help get you back on track. Allow them the opportunity to support you. Sometimes when you’re in the midst of a “moment,” you don’t realize you’re in that moment until it becomes some days and you find it hard to pull out of it.

Having a plan, and a community who knows your plan helps everyone involved to assist you. Also, ask your counselor to help you manage as new things come up. Utilize every resource available to you.

If you work your plan, your plan will work for you.

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I’d love to hear from you. What would you like for me to discuss?
How are you doing?
You can also follow me on my social media pages.

 

mental health, Overcoming, Uncategorized

“Default Settings”

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If you’ve ever worked on a computer or a cell phone and went to settings, it will ask you if you would like to “restore to default settings.” What is your life default settings? How do you respond to life? Conflict? People? Certain situations? Let’s talk about it.

I learned something recently. Pain & trauma in your memory has no time line. So until it’s processed and healed, it will feel like it just happened and you go back to that place often. Many even feel through symptoms in the body (stomach pain, for example).

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I’m learning, as I heal, to remind myself that it’s over. The past, pain, nor trauma has no bearing on who I am or who I will be. Trauma doesn’t diminish my worth.

Fight for your healing. It won’t come for you. You must fight for it.

You’re worth it.

Having said that, I am in pursuit of changing my “default setting.” I was talking to someone the other day and I was telling them how I usually respond to conflict-that it was my default setting.

Later, I began to think about that. I didn’t like it.

Don’t I have the power to change? Don’t I have the right to adjust my thinking, my perspective, and my actions? Of course I do.

I’ve added another component to my mental health. It’s call DBT (Dialectical behavior therapy). In my limited understanding (I’ve only been to one class), DBT teaches you coping and management skills. The major thing I’m working on right now is learning how to properly process anxiety. I am determined that anxiety will not run or ruin my life.

I believe that the undercurrent that produces anxiety can be processed and healed. When I say undercurrent, I’m speaking of the pain that is stored in your body. You don’t realize it’s still there, but it doesn’t mean we can’t heal from it. I often wonder where anxiety comes from because, in my mind, I’m not thinking about anything. In many recent instances, I’m having a good time before it shows up. In my mind, this is the undercurrent; a warning of something I need to be aware (but not afraid) of.

I’m not a professional, but I do a lot of reading and researching. I’m a thinker/over thinker. The purpose of this post is to give us another perspective that will hoped lead to answers and healing. And to hopefully have a better understanding regarding what I’m experiencing. It helps me to change my default settings.

No, I don’t want to be restored to my default settings. The default setting have not served me well. I am creating new settings. How about you? Let’s do it!

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mental health, Overcoming, Uncategorized

Love, Hope & Joy

Hello all! I decided today would be a great day to share an excerpt from my book, Texts from an Angel. Enjoy…

Amy was so depressed. She didn’t want to bother her friends. She knew they were busy. However, after being in bed three days, her guardian angel, Hope, was flustered.

“I hate to bust your angelic wings, but what she needs is a little Joy. No pun intended.” Joy quipped.

“Oh dear heaven!” Hope slapped her wings together in frustration. “Here you are again, in my personal business.”

“You don’t have any personal business. This is all God’s business or did you forget? I keep telling you the Joy of the Lord is where strength comes from.”

“And we also know that ‘hope deferred makes the heart sick.’ That’s why I’m here. So go…” While Hope and Joy are arguing, Amy is holding a bottle of pills. She’s sick of it all.

“Ladies! Ladies!” Love steps in. “Stop it. You’re off focus again. Look.” Amy was pouring a glass of water and had several bottles of pills lined up on the counter. Hope and Joy looked at each other. They knew what to do. Before Amy could reach for the first bottle, a strong wind blew through her kitchen and pills and bottles were flying everywhere!

Conveniently, most of the pills flew down the drain. Amy was so stunned with what was going on around her she didn’t hear her doorbell ringing. Her best friend, Keya, was at the door. After ringing the doorbell for several minutes, Keya decided to use her spare key to get in.

Hearing all the commotion, Kenya rushed to the kitchen. “Amy! What’s the matter? I got your text. Why didn’t you tell me you were so depressed? I’m so sorry I haven’t been here.” Amy was still stunned as she looked at her friend.

“You got a text? I turned my phone off three days ago.” Keya showed her a text message that came from her phone. It read, “I love you, sister, but I can’t do this anymore. I’m sorry.”

After a long talk, Keya decided to take Amy home with her until her mother flew into town. Spending time in the nurturing warmth of a mother’s love would help tremendously. She would also seek counseling and formulate a safety plan.

A safety plan is a specific plan you set in place for yourself to ensure your safety whether physical or emotional. The plan usually includes coping mechanism, phone numbers, and maybe personal reminders for you or ways you can distract yourself.  

If you are ever feeling like Amy, please contact either of these numbers:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Call 1-800-273-8255
Or text: Crisis Text Line: Text RISE to 741741  

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This is an excerpt from my book, Texts from an Angel. You can purchase it at https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07QC2GD93/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_BKGPCbDK92FJ3

For a paper copy, email me at nicolesharonwrites@gmail.com

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mental health, Overcoming, Uncategorized

You can handle it.

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You can handle being healed…

I was talking to a friend, and she said these words to me. “Nicole, you can handle being healed.” I stopped her mid-sentence. Wait! Ma’am! What you say?

So, here’s the thing. I have been on this journey to healing and wholeness. I’ve been asking God, what does that look like? How will I act? Who will I be? What will change?

Trauma, pain, sadness, low self-esteem, insecurity, isolation, etc. becomes comfortable when that’s all you know. It effects the way you view your life, your relationships, other people… It’s all a smoke screen. It doesn’t allow you to see life clearly.

Yes, it’s hard work. Yes, it is so uncomfortable. I admit, there is fear in the unknown. Who am I without pain? How will my perspective change once the negative thoughts that have become my friends are evicted from my mind? What will I think about? Who will my new “friends” be? (Can you tell I overthink?)

No one can give me the blueprint of how it’s going to look and, as much as I would like to know, the date when the project of rebuilding my life will be complete. Note to self: settle in sis, for the rest of your life you will be evolving, growing, changing, rebuilding – constantly under construction. Learn to enjoy the beauty of each season.

I think I will. How about you? Let’s make this resolve together: I resolve to go through my journey and trust that God will never leave me. I don’t know what the journey cost me, but I know the payoff is priceless. I resolve to stay in the fight. Though bruised and scarred, I will win.

I stand in strength.

Knowing God made me who I am.

He doesn’t waste His energy on anything or anyone that is not of value.

I can do this.

I will stand.

I will fight.

I am more than a conqueror.

I am an overcomer.

The pressure will not break me.

I will not be silent.

He created me for greatness.

I am whole.

I am prosperous.

The victory is mine.

I am an overcomer.

mental health, Overcoming, Uncategorized

ABBA

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Myself and a group of ladies have been studying the names of God. This week we are focusing on Abba. It means God our Father.

Too many in this world have never experienced the love of a father. Many may not know who their father is, or maybe he’s absent, unavailable, too busy or deceased. Maybe your father is great! Imagine that God is even greater than that! The key is to learn not to compare what we know of earthly fathers to our heavenly Father. There is no comparison. I understand, however. You have to remind yourself that God is not like any human that you will ever meet.

From Believe.com:

Abba means “Daddy, Father” – Abba is the most intimate form of God’s name, showing us His character as our loving daddy. He is the One who can be fully trusted, the One we can lean on, the One who cares about all that concerns us. Just as a godly father’s presence in our daily lives is one of protection, security, and unconditional love, the constant presence of our heavenly Father is what gives us the strength and covering we need for this life’s journey. This is one of my favorite names of God because in it He conveys His heart for each of us, as His children. He gives us the privilege of being called his own sons and daughters. He provides the way for us to call out to Him and the assurance, beyond a doubt, that He hears and will answer. In our most difficult to painful times in life, we can crawl up into the lap of our heavenly Father, and know that He is for us, and His arms will hold us secure. (https://www.ibelieve.com/faith/10-powerful-names-of-god-and-what-they-mean-for-us-today.html)

And so that we would know for sure that we are his true children, God released the Spirit of Sonship into our hearts—moving us to cry out intimately, “My Father! You’re our true Father!” Galatians 4:6 TPT

So when you’re feeling bad and it feels like your life is a constant storm, call for your Father. He will help you. He will comfort you. He will give you peace.

So, here is my prayer for you: In a world where fathers are absent, overly busy, overworked, stressed, silent, or just uninvolved…

I pray that you experience God as your ultimate Father. I pray that you experience His compassion, grace, and consistent love for you. It’s such a pure love that could never be earned or worked for. I pray that you will begin to experience Abba (God our Father) in such an intimate way that you will never view yourself or others the same again. He has plenty to say to you and he wants to be involved in every area of your life. Have a wonderful week! Blessings!

Tonight, at 8pm EST, I will be live on my Facebook page. Looking forward to seeing you there!

 

https://www.facebook.com/lifeofanovercomer/