Don’t allow others to dictate how your journey should look. Marissa Wilson
Meet Marissa Wilson:
Marissa moved to Atlanta from South Florida. She has been married twelve years. She is a Mompreneur, and mother of five children (four births).
This article is about family, marriage, mommyhood and pursuit of destiny. I use mommyhood because Marissa is not just a mother, she’s a mommy, involved, loving, and all the mushy things mommy’s represent.
Marissa exudes confidence. She was always ready with an answer, and gave me the liberty to go off script and ask extra questions. I felt there are many mothers who would benefit from what Marissa had to share. Despite her nervousness (by her admission), Marissa showed up ready for the party! No standing on the wall for this Mompreneur. She got out on the dance floor! And we had a ball! (Get the reference? Too much? Okay.)
Without further ado, let’s get into this chat:
Me: Alright ma’am. Tell me about Marissa.
Marissa: I am integral, a daughter of the king, sincere, authentic, quirky and goofy. I love to laugh. I remind myself every morning that I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me. I am loved by God. I can accomplish anything as long as I have God. (start of preaching then, sis!)
Me: What does Overcomer mean to you?
Marissa: Someone who is triumphant. Through struggle or circumstances, they come out victorious. Whether physically, mentally, or emotionally.
Me: Tell me about something you’ve have to overcome?
Marissa: Although I didn’t know about postpartum, I struggled with depression during and after all of my pregnancies. I was very young and I didn’t have the language for postpartum or what people would call the baby blues. I didn’t have any extensive knowledge of it the way I do now. When I look back on what I went through emotionally, I realize what it was. In today’s society mental health is talked about more and I can go back and pinpoint those low places and understand now what I was going through at the time.
I dealt with a level of shame by family members and people in ministry. I was made to feel I had done something wrong. I carried that into each pregnancy and dealt with it after having my babies.
Me: But you were married, right? (not that it matters, but y’all know…)
Marissa: I was not married with my first child. We were married within two years and by the time my oldest was three, I was pregnant with the second one. With each pregnancy, someone had something to say. They reminded me of our financial situation.
We were shamed because, although we were doing pretty good for ourselves, we weren’t well off and sometimes needed a support system from our families to help with the children. They felt we shouldn’t have them. It wasn’t so much about money, we needed emotional support as well. Periodically we would need a sitter or someone to pick up one of the children.
When we fell on hard times, we had friends who laughed at and mocked us because we had so many kids. They said they didn’t want to be like us. My husband, Jerry (who is an entrepreneur), had gotten hurt. At this time, we had two children and I was pregnant with the third child.
Me: How did you overcome that?
Marissa: It wasn’t until I had the last baby and we had moved away that I had to deal with those emotions. I didn’t realize how much it affected me until after I moved away. I started going through counseling and deliverance. I had to revisit those pain points.
I discovered I was hiding behind family. I was not confident and struggled to embrace having five children. Even going places with our children; being out in public was something I had to work through.
I had to learn to see myself and my family through the Father’s eyes. I had to see what the family unit should look like. Knowing His purpose and plan for me. Those were the things I had to accept and know He had blessed me with it.
I had to change my perspective on a lot of things. I had to embrace it because this was my life, this is where God had me and what He has for me. If He saw fit to bless me with my family then I had to know God would provide and take care of us. I had to know my family was pleasing in His sight.
Me: For those who are preparing for marriage and family, what advice do you have for them? Or for those who are in the early stages of marriage and family?
Marissa: Be confident in one another. Confident in God.
Find God’s purpose for your household. What is God’s plan for your household? Once you find out, grab hold of it and don’t let go.
Once you find out God’s plan for your family, grab hold of it and don’t let go.
Don’t allow anyone to make you second guess or feel like you’re doing something wrong. When God gives you a mission and purpose for your house, you take it and run with it.
Me: In other words, your relationship is between you, your spouse and God.
Marissa: Exactly. Make sure you and your spouse are strong. Make sure you can communicate about anything you’re feeling.
When it comes to advice from people, I learned to eat the meat and spit out the bone. That means take the advice I know will apply to me, and what doesn’t apply to me I discard it. I don’t take it seriously. People give you their opinions based on their views and experiences. However, what they experience may not fit the mold of what your experience is.
For example, I was an only child. My mother doesn’t understand certain dynamics of multiple children and my household. She couldn’t understand how we ran out of groceries so fast or why we had to spend so much on groceries. She would try to give advice, but it didn’t work because her experience was different as a mother of one child.
Me: Tell me about your business and what you hope to achieve?
Marissa: I am a Mompreneur offering admin support and consulting for businesses. I assist businesses in establishing processes and systems for their business as well as help them scale their business. This means if you already have systems and processes in place, I can help you scale them in order for your business to expand and grow.
My ultimate goal is to hire other moms who want to commit more time to being home while being able to work. I want to bring on other mothers like myself so they can experience financial freedom as well. So they can have the flexibility to integrate work/home life.
Me: In starting this business, what is the major hurdle did you overcome?
Marissa: Stepping out on faith. Trusting God that this is what He wants me to do.
A year ago, I started blogging and working on my business. Financially, things got scary for a while, so I made the decision to go back to work. I allowed some people to influence me so I went to work full-time. I took a job where I was working a lot of hours. We struggled more as a family while I was on the job than when I was working on my business and working from home.
I had to allow God to process me in that season. My husband travels a lot with his business. One particular contract called for more extensive travel, and I had to make the decision to leave the job. It was frustrating for me because I didn’t realize how addicted I was to doing things on my own – even if it wasn’t working.
Trusting God to walk away from the known and into the unknown was the hardest mental block for me to overcome. It took me thirty days to decide. Although I wrestled with the Lord, it was the best decision I’ve ever made. Being a Mompreneur makes more sense and is easier for my family.
Me: Tell me about the process? What practical things do you do to motivate you?
Marissa: I had to learn to believe in myself with daily affirmations. There’s something profound about getting up in the morning, and reminding yourself who you are. Whether you create positive statements or scriptures, it’s something powerful. You take ownership of your day when you speak over yourself and speak love to yourself.
I notice the difference in my day when I do this. When I’m not focused it’s because I didn’t take the time for my morning reminders.
I intentionally take moments to settle my mind. Anything clouding my mind, I would set those things aside. I would clear my mind and be silent. Maybe take a walk or just sit outside. The battle we have is in our minds. I also practice meditating.
Me: When making these huge decisions, how did you overcome fear?
Marissa: I did it scared. I know we hear this phrase a lot, but that’s how it’s done. If I try to rationalize it, I would have talked myself out of it.
I followed the steps. I wrote a business plan. I submitted my plans to God. I got the revelation on how to do things. I was still scared. Something could go wrong.
Just so you know, nothing is going to go 100% right in business. It’s never going to all be right. Something will always go wrong.
With my husband being in business, we have experienced every possible nuisance. We have experienced many things, so I decided I would just do it. I’m going to rock with it because I know it’s what I’m supposed to be doing.
Me: So, you’re saying that just because something goes wrong, it doesn’t mean it’s not supposed to happen.
Marissa: Right. It’s like this, when you’re already full steam ahead…When you’re eight centimeters, there’s no turning back. You may as well push! The baby is coming whether you like it or not. We already out here. Why not?
Take the leap! We already out here. Why not? Marissa Wilson
Me: Tell me about your family support? What does that look like?
Marissa: I take full advantage of the days when the children are not at home. I have a schedule. My mornings are used to take care of the home. There’s time blocked for business, and when they’re home in the evenings I try to make sure my time is dedicated to them. There are some Saturdays when I have to put some work time in, and we adjust as a family. I make sure all immediate needs are taken care of and conduct business.
My husband, Jerry, is really helpful by taking them outside or doing things to keep them occupied. As long as all the children are in one piece and there are no trips to the ER, it’s all good.
The key ingredient is communication. I have good communication with my family, a plan for my day and making good use of my time. When the children get home, I’m not so overwhelmed that I can’t be involved in their lives.
Along with being a Mompreneur, Marissa is a blogger and an aspiring author. She is working on her first manuscript.
Blessings on your journey, Marissa! Thank you for allowing me to interview you. I pray blessings and long lasting success for your life, business and family!